My Partner is Pressuring Me to Have An Abortion, but I’m Not Sure

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can be challenging, and it can be even more difficult when you are feeling pressured by the opinions of others.

Remember, it is your body and your pregnancy, so it is ultimately your decision on how you proceed.

Continue reading for tips about responding to your partner when discussing your pregnancy and plans.

Recognizing Pressure from Your Partner

Pressure from a partner to abort can look different in every situation.

Your partner may subtly communicate that they want you to have an abortion without coming out and saying the words. This indirect pressure may look like them ignoring you or leaving the conversation when you express your hesitancy about abortion.

While indirect pressure can be expressed through passive-aggressive actions and manipulation, forms of direct pressure are more aggressive and are expressed through threats and ultimatums given by your partner.

No matter what type of pressure you’re experiencing, it is never okay.

Sometimes, pressure from others can cloud your judgment and make you question your decision. Recognizing pressure from your partner can help you separate your feelings about the pregnancy from your partner’s feelings and help you better understand your desires for your pregnancy.

Responding to Your Partner

Protect Yourself: Your first priority should be your safety. If you feel that your partner is physically or verbally abusive, call the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE to create a plan to protect yourself. If you’re ever in immediate danger, leave the situation and call 911.
Create Boundaries: Make it clear to your partner that you will ultimately make the final decision and will not be manipulated or coerced.
Get the Facts: An ultrasound can help you learn more about your pregnancy, equipping you to talk with your partner and preparing you to address their concerns confidently.
Seek Support: If you and your partner continue to disagree, it can be helpful to have a mediator to ensure the conversation remains productive. Inviting a friend, family member, or counselor to be present for conversations may be beneficial.
Give Them Time: The initial shock of an unplanned pregnancy may lead your partner to react differently about the pregnancy than they truly feel. It can be helpful for your partner to have time to process and then have follow-up conversations.